What the fu...?

I have not written anything since Easter!!
And do I have any excuses for that? YES, I have tons of excuses and all of them are good enough, well some of them are good enough.
Some things have changed of course and some are still the same. I guess it is what one calls life.
Hopefully I'm a bit smarter, cooler, younger and healthier...well in a perfect world it would be like that. The truth is that I'm as cool as I'll ever be, smarter well I have internalized a lot of information at UNI, I'm certainly NOT younger and sadly not healthier but working on it as always.

So what has been going on since Easter? Well I really don't think you care if you don't know me and if you do know me you know...

Now that was not nice of me to write , but I know it's the truth..and to be honest not a lot to write about here anyway. The past is over some wise person wrote or said. So I will focus on the future and if something really exciting happens I might squeeze it in here.

And I still wonder why I do write here? to whom am I writing? do I have this urge to be red by someone or anyone? hmm reflecting is something I do a lot lately, important yes, but a lot of work it is.

The biggest thing that has happened since Easter was PORTUGAL :-D
Oh joy! It was my "eat, love,pray" trip, it was out of this dimension!! One word PERSPECTIVE!

I guess it's time to publish this post, send it out all over the net.

T.

easter,eating and relaxing

Finally some time to just mellow down and do something and nothing. Having M back in the house is just perfect. We were truly happy to see each other again after almost 8 days apart. The first night she held her arms around my neck half the night. I woke up, well woke up about ten thousand times she smiled and said: mamma. It's so incredible how much warmth and sunshine that word can bring. I admit I love being a mom, even if it is really hard sometimes. Especially trying to be patient and understanding and at the same time be the "boss". At this age, 3 she is trying to take control and exploring her own personality. She is soooo different from me sometimes. And that is so hard not to make her do or think things my way. I have to let her figure out her own life, but I will try to guide her and be there when she has questions or when she makes a wrong choice and celebrate the good choices!
Something she loves is dressing up, yes I know a lot of girls LOVE it, but I hated it, kind of still do. I feel most comfortable in soft, loose fit and sneakers. M loves to dress up and create her own style, mix and match. And I think she does a good job to. The outfit in the picture is all her style. But she still is not afraid to try new stuff and get dirty. This winter she demanded skis. I hesitated for a while because I thought it was just a phase. After 14 days of asking me every day I bought skis. And she turned out to be this natural skiing talent. In kindergarten they asked how long she has been skiing, and (very proud mom :-D ) said, she skid for 15 minutes yesterday for the first time. She skid every day for the rest of the winter.















Celebrating a dear friends birthday last Friday was one of the funniest nights I have had in a long time. Laughing is truly the best medicine for a stressed life. The birthday girl made this awesome punch. She called it appletinis, mmmmmmmmm and a lot of chips, dips ,cheese and other stuff I never got a chance to taste( I prioritized the punch..) So thanks a lot sweet lovely Diamond for a great night. And not forget the little fire lady, so sorry you got sick after trying to keep up with me....
But as Easter is coming to an end I'm looking forward to spending time with Sunbeam and "the law". This summer will be full of adventures.

signing out T.

catching up on some zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So lovely M is currently vacationing in Tenerife with her fathers family. I just talked to her on the phone, I have a dress on, I swim and swim and swim!! And I'm in "syden" mamma. AAAAA she's so thankful for every bit of joy she can be a part of. I wish I could find true happy in all the little things, not that I think I'm ungrateful but as you get older you can get a bit jaded.

I had a long talk with Sunbeam about liars. And why do people lie? and some so much more than other people?? Personally I admit I lie everyday, white lies and some just to not "go there". To avoid and protect myself. Maby it's a defence mechanism? In what a degree a lie is necessary or unnecessary can be hard to judge. Sometimes you just have to jump into things and forget what it was all about. But as age and maturity comes along it gets easier to know when not to lie and when it is OK. So why do so many people just keep on lying about everything?? Where is the understanding of beeing a grown up? it must be so much hard work keeping up a lie or lies. It is better to just be real and stay true to what you stand for.
In the tv-show House MD, Dr. House has an ongoing comment: everybody lies. And I guess that is true.

The movie, invenntion of lying staring Ricky Gervavis is a movie worth watching.
In a world where everyone can only tell the truth... ...this guy can lie. A funny movie about lying :-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfUZND486Ik


It took me a while to find the energy to write another post, but after sleeping for a week I finaly did it.


Posting Posting new post

fruit and vegetable party

And there they go, out the door and into the night.4 fantastic "girls". We just had a great evening together, playing therapy, drinking red wine and eating fruit and vegetables. Feeling so healthy :-D


This game we play, I must say I learn a lot about things I never would have asked about...and it probably says a lot about me that I would Never say out loud. OK, so Miz Tulip (she truly shines with her whole personality) she would actually go to a nudist beach and she would make love if she had only 24 hours left to live (I would eat..). Sunbeam is a really character, wow she surprises me everyday all the time ( even though we are alike in many ways..does that mean I have not that much insight ?) won the game, just flew past us like a cat on fire. And I know now that she has her best moments laying down, not standing or sitting (and for those with impure thoughts now, she likes laying in bed listening to music!).
Player number 5, the one who is now known as the God of pranks , would easily throw a banana peal in your shower, just so that she could have a laugh. Ahh what a lovely bunch. And the 4 player, the nudist with tiny breast ( her own words I swear!) is not really that likely to go to a nudist beach, and she would enjoy a walk in the rain Forest without freaking out. And we all think she is in a bit of trouble if she sees a psychologist, but she thinks she's "normal". Are you?? ;-)

As for myself, I do not think like most people ( according to the inkblots...) So what else is new??
The evening was perfect.

Last night I saw an episode of House MD. It had an interesting view on blogging. Why is it so easy to blog about personal things to strangers? Why put your life out there on the net? Some of the answers were it's easier to write what you think, It's nice to have people comment on what your thoughts are. It's safer when there is not a face there, and in real everyday life we don't talk about things we feel, listen to or experience inside. It's to heavy and could be misinterpreted easily. Blogging is a safe way to express your thoughts and different views on things. It also gives people you love and respect a chance to see what goes on inside your head. Personally I feel free when I blog, I don't have to explain myself right away, I have time to think. People will always talk about other people. In good ways and in bad ways. Blogging gives you a chance to set the record straight. If people say bad things about you, let them read the blog and make up their own mind or talk to the person it concerns. I believe that if you talk about a person that is not present, you should only talk about things you can tell this person face to face. If you can't stand up for what you have said, then there is probably not much truth in it anyway. Put your money where your mouth is ;-D

THE END

Can you please send me the....

"Give Hope"

In just one phone call things can change drastically. Things are no longer the way they were, and everything has to change. It happened to me, has done a lot of times. And every time I have come out on top with help from family and friends. Of coures not in the same state of mind as before, a lot wiser, a bit heartbroken, very thankful and as a changed person.Whether I like it or not. Change is good some people say..I agree.
So I believe things will change for the better this time to, I just have to believe that everything happens for a reason, a really good reason.

"tell me and I'll forget, show me and I'll remember, involve me and I'll understand."

Today I had one of those days when you feel you should have just stayed in bed. I draged myself to Uni, almost slept through the lectures about administering funds in general law practice...zzzzzzzz
The good thing about the day was chatting with my classmates. What a bunch of "gals". Love, love every bit of their personalities. Talking about men/boys, sex, food and sharing crazy stories about x-mas parties, not going to mention names here..but using the salt and pepper shakers to spice up the love life...going to call her miz Tulip, a wonderful woman that I have just gotten to know. And I must not forget lovely Sunbeam, smart and always on top of things,and for taking excellent notes in class. And remember you have a thing to do on Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After Uni I drove home, got Chivaz and drove off to the stable. Yes, today is Johan day. He is truly my happy pill. For about 3 Horus I have no problems, no pain, no phone calls, no Uni, no bills just a happy horse. The sun was shinning and it felt like spring, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Since he is a former trotter, he loves to run fast. I had decided that today was the day we were going to just let lose and be a bit crazy. I let him run free, I just grabbed his mane, held tight and smiled. His ears pointed strait ahead and I'm sure he smiled to. We rode up and down, in and out of the Forest. After almost an hour we were both sweating, yes it's a lot of work riding horses!!!

"Lass Johan" from Sweden.









My daughter M, the loveliest, prettiest most adorable girl in the world ( who says I'm bias?)
just got her passport renewed. New pictures had to be taken, and believe me it is not easy to tell a 3 year old Not to smile. Because as you know, the picture for the passport has to be without the teeth showing...a neutral face. And M has been told for over 3 year s to SMILE whenever pictures are taken. And even more interesting is taking them int the tiny photo both. Oh my god, thanks for the 12 pictures frames one can choose from or we could still be there taking them over and over again..well she just got the new passport in the mail and When she opened the envelope she shouted : oh thanks mom I love it!! lol ,she is truly happy for everything she gets.

Alice in Wonderland?

Sooooo the grueling exam in sociology and anthropology is OVER. I have never in my life had so much tension about an exam. I just hated every page I turned reading it, and still it's kind of interesting to learn about society,culture and institutions. I did actually learn a great deal about how to sort out the differences in culture, habitus and humanity. And I realise the importance on being reflected and open minded in the line of work I'm about to enter in a few years. So I'm hoping I was just unfocused and a bit stubborn...I guess the lecturer had some influence...needless to say anything more about her..I know I know I am the only one to blame for the result on my exam, so I take full responsibility.

The earthquake in Chile was horrible, I just could not comprehend the happening. A few years back I visited that city, Concepcion. And to know that so many people there have no homes, family members missing or worse, dead. My thoughts go out to all of them.

This week I was given a privilege. I was given insight into a persons deepest concerns and scars.
It did something to me, it opened a door to a place I have not been before. I felt like Alice in not so wonderland. Down the rabbit-hole. I felt like when Alice drinks the bottle and shrinks, I felt very Small and powerless. But somehow, after reflecting and digesting the "story", I felt as I grew into a gigantic self, like Alice drinking from the bottle again and suddenly she's hitting her head on the ceiling. I will forever and ever, as long as I live cherish that moment. I will use that eye opening experience for something right and good. something bad can be turned to something good. well I certainly believe that.
So thanks a million Sunbeam for sharing, the deed has not gone unnoticed.

Some have questioned why I write in English, I will try to explain. Language is the most important thing we use in communication. We use language to express our self and to connect with other people. Habermas, a great philosopher believes in conversation, the good conversation(discourse ethics). I share his thoughts on that. And for me personal I would like to connect and have good conversation across the world. I can only do that by using a common language used by most people. It is also a good way to exercise writing the language, and keeping it fresh. The mind is a muscle that needs constantly training to maintain what is in there. And as I mentioned before I like a challenge.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%BCrgen_Habermas


And now it's way past my bedtime zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cool Therapy

Last night I had two great "girls" over for some good food and fun. I prepared a self-made recipe by serving whole wheat tortillas, tomato salsa, avocado and grilled chicken breast with paprika.
Then you just stuff it all together and mmmmmmmmmmmm eat. Healthy and yummy.
After we inhaled the food (HUNGRY, a good sign I must say)we decided to play this board-game called Therapy.
The idea of the game is to, well I'll just write what the box says : a funny, engaging game with a twist of psychology. reveal surprising thing about human behavior. How well do you know your friends? How well do they know you? This game takes you through the six stages of life, infant stage, childhood, teens, adolescent and retirement.
LOL one of the questions: how cool do you think you are on a scale from 1-10? So the idea is to write it down, and the other players guess what you answered. If they get it right you get points.
A short summary: I'm not as smart as Einstein and I would love to be a magicians assistant ( nope ,all wrong..well hoping to be as smart as Einstein , but my friends disagreed ) And Sunbeam will in the future own a messy car, she can't read a map and she loves giving speeches to big crowds!! I did not know that...and my other Friend, Sleeping Beauty solves questions to complicated and makes small things really big..but lucky her, she did not get the most reveling questions. But next time Sleeping Beauty it will be yore turn to guess how cool we think you think you are hihihih.
I highly recommend this game!!
But one thing I was really bad at, was "think blots", the ink spots that are supposed to See what you think it is , or imagine. I got it wrong eveytime. One of them asked : what do most people see in this inkblot? a mustache, a bird or a but? well I answered a mustache...it was a but!




After the exam I'm going to drive my car to Bogahill and spend time with my dearest dearest "bøtteknott". I miss spending time with her and the rest of her family ;-) M is always asking if we can go to jilliam and nesse and papa Kenni. And we always have a good time there :-)
it's like recharging the batteries for the sole.

Motivation

Lately I have been wanting to do some changes. Not major big changes, just enough to change the direction of my path. But where to start??
Doing things that challenges the body and mind is for me the ultimate kick. It's no secrete that I love horses. And I guess the reason is the camaraderie and the feeling of being complete. Just doing something that makes you feel god about yourself.
Last semester I took a class in psychology. The lecturer was a one of those people you never forget. He is truly one of a kind. The way he talked, acted and presented himself was just amazing. It probably sounds weird, but some people just have that x-factor. And he has the x and the rest of the alphabet.
Well my point being is that his lectures were about motivation ( just one of the topics) To have someone clearly spell it out what you should or need to do is an eye opener. (I guess it is always better to hear it from others, than the people close to you.) But everyone knows it's not easy to just get up and DO IT! So I tend to reminisce his lectures and try to get up. And now I have. I'm going to (try) learn how to surf. I'm not about to explain why surfing, it's relay to complicated, even for me to understand. But still, it's what I want to do.
And I'm even happier that a dear friend is joining me on this adventure. I will call her Sunbeam (actually got that idea from her to nickname the friends to keep their anonymity)So miss Sunbeam I hope you are ready to challenge the Waves and hopefully the instructor will be as we are hoping...

We have not yet set the date, but I guess it will happen in April or May.
BTW, Sunbeam is probably one of those people who just has it, the x-factor. And lucky me, she is a friend of mine.

exam nervs and a sick 3 yearold

This new day started early..actually five minutes past midnight. My daughter M, threw up, and all I could think of was, I would miss out on a whole day studying for my exam next Wednesday. That's what happens when I'm in the exam modes. But after looking at poor M, those thought blew away. Once a mom, always a mom. So I pulled out all the kind loving words I could think of, trying to calm her down. After showering and new clothes and a quick brush of the teeth she was happy. (children are so perfect that way )
So we watched cartoons (well she did, I slept beside her )for a while. In the morning I woke up in my bed, she was sleeping on the couch. The whole ordeal was over for this time, thank god for that.
M was terrible tired the rest of the day, so I could get most of the house chores done. My dog, Chivaz was confused, why are they all home? is it Saturday? wow can we go outside for a walk? poor thing, he kept following me around trying to figure out why we are all inside and not doing anything that makes sense. I let him outside, and to his excitement SNOW SNOW.
It has been a long day, but still a good day. M got better, I got to spend time with her, and Chivaz. I guess one has to find the good in the bad..

signing out Tritau

Chapter one

This is mye first blog entry, so kind of wierd..but here goes.